Life is about being lucky.
A few weeks ago, new laws were passed in Afghanistan. Some of them further restrict Afghan women’s rights. When I heard about them, an idea came back to my mind: life is first and foremost about being lucky. I had already had this thought in February 2022, when Russia began invading Ukraine. I remember being in the gym as the news was spreading, looking at the people around me and thinking “we’re doing gym exercises, life goes on, while Ukrainians leave their homes, not knowing if they’ll ever come back”.
I was born and raised in France. I come from a middle-class family. We’re not poor, but we’ve never been rich. I’ve never complained about my origins, because I know my parents have always done their best for me and my siblings. I’m now 36 and live with my boyfriend and our cat. I know I’m responsible for my choices: my career, the money I earn, the fact that I don’t have a driver’s license, and so on. I can’t blame people for the choices I make. In fact, the only thing I’ve actually complained about is what I’ve experienced as a woman: violence (I was assaulted once and I’m sure I wouldn’t have been if I’d been a man in that situation), perverts and street harassment (all too often)…. But I’ve always thought it could be much worse.
I’m lucky not to be a woman living in countries like Iran, Afghanistan, India… where women are treated like less than nothing. I sometimes think I’d go crazy if I were one of them. I admire their courage so much. I’m also lucky enough not to live in the United States, where abortion is less and less possible. I’m lucky not to be a lesbian, as some countries still consider homosexuality illegal (I still don’t understand how someone’s sexual orientation can bother others, how it can also be considered a disease or a crime). When I think about all this, I can’t help but wonder how it’s still possible to witness such things in this day and age. Some people’s minds just haven’t evolved. I’m lucky enough not to live in a country at war. I can’t imagine the fear you must feel in such a situation. Nor can I believe that anyone could wake up one day, rape and kill people for their country, or that so many countries turn a blind eye and do nothing to help the victims of these wars.
In fact, I think the first time I realized how lucky I was was on a school trip in Greece, almost twenty years ago. At the time, I was a self-hating, self-centered teenager (you may notice a bit of a contradiction here). But that trip awakened something in me: during our stay in Athens, I remember seeing lots of poor people on the streets and a profound lack of modernity. I felt like a lucky girl who had nothing to complain about. And I remember that feeling as if it were yesterday.
We don’t decide where we’re born, what gender we’re assigned and how it affects our lives, what our sexual orientation is, what countries surround ours and what things our government can decide whether we vote or not.
That’s why I think people should be kinder and more emphatic. They should enjoy what they have and try to put themselves, at least for a second, in the shoes of women whose rights are increasingly restricted, in the shoes of people who have to flee their countries because they fear being murdered, or those who have to hide hoping not to be killed. Never forget the freedom you have and the freedom many people have lost. This leads us to help each other, in whatever way we can.
