In 2022, I wrote a letter to my younger self. As I’ll be 36 in a few months, I’ve decided to write a letter to my future self in which I want to express how I’d like my life to be when I’m old.
I hope you live with your loved one and a few cats in a lovely little house in the countryside. It’s close to a big city, but cut off from the outside world.
The house is neither too big nor too small. It has a few rooms and a garden.
There is a space where you can work, read and paint.
This space is on the ground floor, with a view over the garden. It’s nice to see the seasons change and your cats enjoying being outside.
Because you’re old now, you’ve stopped working as a teacher. But you loved that job so much. You remember the first year, the lack of confidence you felt at the time. But little by little, everything improved. You felt more and more confident. You both smile and weep when you think of all the students you’ve met, all the students who’ve made you happy.
You still work as an artist. You haven’t become a world-famous artist, but that was never your goal. You’ve always wanted to create work that deals with subjects that interest you, work that convinces you and that can convince other people. But fame was never your objective.
You’ve had good times and bad times. The bad times hurt you so much that you thought you’d never be happy again, but you didn’t give up and things eventually got better. As you’re easily depressed, you’ve always found it hard to see the good things in life.
You usually wake up early in the morning (like many elderly people haha).
You feed your cats, and drink your cup of tea on your garden terrace. During the day, you like to create artworks, garden with your loved one while your cats run around in the garden, and cook meals that your partner doesn’t always like as much as you do. In the evening, you enjoy reading books by the fireplace and watching films and series.
You haven’t had any children, and that’s always been a choice, even if some people didn’t understand you. The two of you and your cats are enough to make you happy. You don’t need anything more.
If there’s one thing I really and truly hope for, it’s that you’re finally at peace. You’re no longer wracked with anxiety. You’re satisfied with yourself and with the way life has turned out.
That’s the Pauline I hope to be.